grusalakas

, i will be able to finally quit institute - pretty sad, but the work i have to do there bored me too much lately. Can't stand these spectra, so i'm only working currently on the astronomical terms for dictionary - i will finish this work for sure before quitting.

As i wrote before, i visited Humana "meeting", kind of. It took five hours, but it was worth that - now i know a lot about that, and, possibly, i will work for them... later. Don't want to lose two years of studies now.
But... sometimes i really want to do something good. The worst part is that nobody expects that. People are too selfish, and when you try doing good to them, they look at you suspiciously and think "What will he want in return? I'd better not accept his help..."

As for studies... i still can't decide what to study. Perhaps it would be better for me to wait one year, to be sure what i want from my life. But i don't want to lose a whole year of my life...feels like there's big clock ticking and saying: "your time will be over soon"...
I hate when i'm starting to think like that.
I really have some problems with self-esteem.
I really do.
I don't know why, but i'd rather not do something, if i'm not sure that i won't fail. And that means that i look like one of the laziest persons ever. Hate that too.

Hey, i'm not that bad. I placed second at ons-ons-ons draft before a pair of days... Yay, i'm good at playing with coloured paper pieces. Great.
(i really hope i won't have to put [sarcasm] tags in my own blog. people always have problems understanding my "sense of humour", but if they don't understand it here, screw them. this is MY place :P ...)

Also, i have to make my room tidy. My parents come to visit tomorrow - my sister will get her master's degree, also today is my mother's birthday. Sooo....i have a lot of stuff to hide somewhere...